Its dark, so we shan’t be seen!
11.30.2008
End-of-November Evening
Insultingly simple causes, often deliberately ignored as we analyze their painfully intricate effects with our far lost faith in causality...
This irrationality will overwhelm you, one evening when you are staring at the low frequency movements of the
palm branch through the window, trying hard to concentrate on your heavily ignored chores.
And you spill the coffee on your whole existence for the 1000th time.
Just cut a piece of my brain off and trashed it in the deepest levels of ignorance. Do we really need that part?
I'll be the strong one, with all this well-defined new rules.
This irrationality will overwhelm you, one evening when you are staring at the low frequency movements of the
palm branch through the window, trying hard to concentrate on your heavily ignored chores.
And you spill the coffee on your whole existence for the 1000th time.
Just cut a piece of my brain off and trashed it in the deepest levels of ignorance. Do we really need that part?
I'll be the strong one, with all this well-defined new rules.
11.22.2008
when something is broken, and she tries to fix it
Sticking to my old belief.
That everything should end not far after its peak.
That you should leave people while you still care for them.
and you should leave any land while there are still a few spots that make you feel deeply happy and a few people that you respect their existence.
Even your own life?
And life is all about choices, but not choice of functions: its a choice of domains over which you define them.. and be careful, beware, never let a unimodal function go far beyond its peak.
The ocean makes me cry from deep inside
The mountains are kind and supportive
It all seems so familiar
but I know, I've never been here before, nor will I be again.
That everything should end not far after its peak.
That you should leave people while you still care for them.
and you should leave any land while there are still a few spots that make you feel deeply happy and a few people that you respect their existence.
Even your own life?
And life is all about choices, but not choice of functions: its a choice of domains over which you define them.. and be careful, beware, never let a unimodal function go far beyond its peak.
The ocean makes me cry from deep inside
The mountains are kind and supportive
It all seems so familiar
but I know, I've never been here before, nor will I be again.
11.16.2008
Beyond good and evil, into better through worse
Dealing with the transformation applied to my spiky, coordinate discriminating norm, I'm sick with the paradoxical headache of getting closer and closer to people, while feeling more and more distant and aloof.
11.13.2008
On fluctuations of eigenvalues of random Hermitian matrices
همه این حرفها را می زنم که تو بفهمی
وقتی صبح یک روز خیلی عادی پاییزی
که عصرش باید تمرین هایی که بلد نیستی را تحویل بدهی
و شبش باید در حالی که داری از زور ناراحتی خفه می شوی قهقهه زنان شادی یک آدم دیگر را جشن بگیری،
خوش حال از خواب بیدار شوی
و در حالی که لبخند احمقانه ات را به قهوه فروش ابله کنار دانشکده هم تحویل می دهی،
از زور خوش حالی قهوه ی تلخ هر روزت را با چرب ترین شیر ممکن مخلوط کنی،
آخر و عاقبتت می شود همین
که نصف شب با یک لامپ 60 وات کنار پنچره ای که با زیلوی پیک نیک خفه شده چمباتمه بزنی،
و از خودت بپرسی آخرش که چی؟ و این بار از همیشه هم جدی تر هم بپرسی
همه ی این ها را گفتم که بدانی:
میانگین یک روز خیلی عادی پاییزی
هرگز بالای صفر نمی رود، هرگز
11.09.2008
Sunday morning and the autorepeat mode
Mental health is the power to overcome the fear and frustration
-a potential risk of heart attack-
which arises between the short, deep silence break after the songs ends,
and before it starts over.
There's a ticking
at the sill
a purr of a pigeon
to break the still of day
-a potential risk of heart attack-
which arises between the short, deep silence break after the songs ends,
and before it starts over.
There's a ticking
at the sill
a purr of a pigeon
to break the still of day
11.06.2008
Lost in Steiner Forest
A group action, applied from the right (not right, but right) side, to the right value
to move you back to your lost orbit (if you believe you have one), to save your lost soul.
Alas, it's NP-hard and APX-hard and LifeTime-hard.
Look at their eyes,
wide open, to see what they can't see.
Look at their lips
forever murmuring, the unspoken, the unspeakable..
And words are the biggest obsession in life (well, among the biggest), your gravest enemies,
when they loop and lump in your throat
as you scramble to arrange them, to utter yourself (don't ask me about empty)
and you fail, and silence is your ultimate resort (Alack, a degenerate mapping).
And all the world's a stage
I existed because I dreamed, and well, I dream no more.
I gave up on the entire human race.
Now that you've turned the world against me
I'm only trying to win them back.
Here comes the time to reclaim the far gone pride, the far gone bravery, from the ravisher, (yet generous?) hands of life. Let us wish for the existence of an inverse mapping to undo the pain. Amen.
to move you back to your lost orbit (if you believe you have one), to save your lost soul.
Alas, it's NP-hard and APX-hard and LifeTime-hard.
Look at their eyes,
wide open, to see what they can't see.
Look at their lips
forever murmuring, the unspoken, the unspeakable..
And words are the biggest obsession in life (well, among the biggest), your gravest enemies,
when they loop and lump in your throat
as you scramble to arrange them, to utter yourself (don't ask me about empty)
and you fail, and silence is your ultimate resort (Alack, a degenerate mapping).
And all the world's a stage
I existed because I dreamed, and well, I dream no more.
I gave up on the entire human race.
Now that you've turned the world against me
I'm only trying to win them back.
Here comes the time to reclaim the far gone pride, the far gone bravery, from the ravisher, (yet generous?) hands of life. Let us wish for the existence of an inverse mapping to undo the pain. Amen.
